Buy now
by Calendulam
Summary: and we'll throw in this lovely pair of silly boys! Kurt & Blaine watch infomercials at two in the morning. Foolishness ensues.


A silly little ficlet I wrote for a prompt on tumblr. I'm the-water-nixie( )tumblr(.)com if anyone wants to come and find me. Or send me prompts for more silliness. :)

I don't own Glee.

~0~

**Buy now and we'll throw in this lovely pair of silly boys! Or, the one where Kurt and Blaine watch infomercials at two in the morning.**

"Oh my God, we _need_ that."

"We _do_ need that."

"Did you see how fast that was?"

"I know! It would take, like, a minute to make a salad!" Blaine looks from Kurt to the TV and back again before jumping up off the sofa and scrambling to his jacket in search of his wallet.

Kurt gets to his first and has dialled half of the toll free number by the time Blaine slides across the shiny wooden floor and back into the Hummels' living room.

"Hey, I'm paying for it!" Blaine argues. He grabs at Kurt's waist, trying to wrestle him away from the phone, but he quickly turns, hand shooting out to cover the phone and block his laughter from the operator. He jumps up from the sofa and stands by the window, dancing back and forth with a grin on his face until someone picks up and he can put in his order. He gives the operator his credit card information and mailing address and both of their names. He's still grinning when they settle back in and search for something new to watch.

"Did we just pick out our first kitchen gadget together?"

"_Yes_."

They grin at each other and snuggle closer, Blaine falling against Kurt's chest and Kurt's arm winding around his narrow waist. Kurt leans down just as Blaine stretches up and they share a soft peck on the lips.

"_Easily remove all unwanted body hair..._"

Kurt perks up. "Ooh, what's this?"

"_The no fuss hair removal system – no messy, painful wax; no expensive laser treatments; no harsh chemical lotions. It's all natural and safe – even for the bikini line!_"

"Huh. We should get some of that, too," Kurt says, leaning towards the TV.

"What for?"

"Just what it said."

"So you don't like my chest hair? Is this your way of letting me know?" Blaine asks.

"What? No! Of course I like it! Why would you think that?"

"Well what other reason would we have for buying the 'no fuss hair removal system'? You aren't hairy."

"I dunno, because it's 2AM, Blaine. It's 2AM and the TV told me so!"

Blaine shifts away slightly and crosses his arms over his chest.

"I'm changing the channel," Kurt tells him.

"Whatever you think is best."

Kurt flicks through the channels without paying attention to the content. He leans towards Blaine only to have him lean away from Kurt's body and make an irritated sniffing sound.

"Oh my God, Blaine! I like your chest hair!"

"Whatever."

Kurt growls and tosses the remote onto a nearby chair. "I _love_ your chest hair."

"Uh-huh." Blaine doesn't make eye contact, just studies the throw on the arm of the sofa, running his fingertips over the pattern.

"Get over here," Kurt grumbles. Blaine lets out an indignant squawk when he is tugged by the legs and ends up flat on his back.

Kurt is hovering over him when he finally looks him in the eye. "I said," Kurt bites out, "that I love your chest hair. I love all of your body hair. It's very masculine. Which is sorta this thing that I'm into, you know."

Blaine rolls his eyes and tries to fight his smile, looking away from Kurt's amused gaze. He feels Kurt's hands at his waist, sliding up under his shirt and then... his head? "What are you doing?" Blaine asks with a laugh. Kurt is kissing Blaine's belly and moving upward, sliding his entire head underneath Blaine's top.

"Seriously, what are you doing, you fool?" Blaine laughs as Kurt's breath tickles against his chest. Kurt hums happily and rubs his face into the hair there.

"Mmm, prickly," he says, nuzzling and planting little kisses at random.

"You're going to stretch out my shirt."

"It's _my_ shirt, and it's too big for you anyway."

"So, what? I'm small now? And that doesn't even make any sense, by the way."

He feels Kurt's quiet laughter against his skin. "No, Blaine, you did not become small just now as if by magic. You have always been small."

"Hey! You're so mean to me tonight. I'm going to bed."

"I didn't say that I don't like that about you, now, did I? Hmm, Mr. Conclusion-Jumper-To? Because I have to say... I really, really do." He brings his hands up and around Blaine's waist, massaging the skin and pressing his thumbs together next to Blaine's navel. He's pretty sure Kurt is testing to see if he can fit his hands around his waist.

"Uh-huh," Blaine says, and makes another sniffing sound.

"Oh God, not again. Where am I going to have to stick my head this time?"

~0~

And that is how Burt finds them when he gets in from DC later that morning – Kurt's head still up under Blaine's t-shirt, the two of them sprawled across the sofa with the TV still on. He doesn't know what the hell that's all about and he doesn't want to. He figures there are a lot worse positions he could have found them in and he should thank his lucky stars. He could really use a couple more hours of sleep, he decides, and heads for the stairs.


End file.
